


Such a thing of wonder in this crowd

by maxbegone



Series: Schitt's Creek Tumblr Prompts [26]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Established Relationship, Future Fic, Mentions of Sex, Post-Canon, Post-Series Pre-Movie, Prompt Fill, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28143333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxbegone/pseuds/maxbegone
Summary: “So that’s what I told Roland. We’re not taking care of a fucking parrot while his cousin goes to Mohegan Sun for five days to drink, smoke, and gamble.” Stevie takes a very long sip of her beer. “The motel is not that kind of place.”“Isn’t it, though?” David’s brows pinch together in question. “Like, it just feels like the motel needs a caged animal to really pull the whole thing together.”She blinks at him. “We’re not a sideshow, David.”
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd & David Rose
Series: Schitt's Creek Tumblr Prompts [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1806070
Comments: 8
Kudos: 98





	Such a thing of wonder in this crowd

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peopleholdon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peopleholdon/gifts).



> For the prompt **35\. running your finger down their spine.**
> 
> Title from Everybody Here Wants You by Jeff Buckley

There are only so many places in this town to go on a night out. And by so many places, David means one place - not the café, that doesn’t count - and it’s the Wobbly Elm. Sticky tables and floorboards and uneven barstools, twangy music playing from an old, beat up jukebox. The drinks are subpar at best, but there are certain times where alcohol is alcohol and David has learned not to be _too_ picky.

Although this place is yet to perfect a cosmo that’s up to snuff, but that’s an argument for a later date. 

“So that’s what I told Roland. We’re not taking care of a fucking parrot while his cousin goes to Mohegan Sun for five days to drink, smoke, and gamble.” Stevie takes a very long sip of her beer. “The motel is not that kind of place.”

“Isn’t it, though?” David’s brows pinch together in question. “Like, it just feels like the motel needs a caged animal to really pull the whole thing together.”

She blinks at him. “We’re not a sideshow, David.”

“Okay, well the town sign kind of says otherwise.”

“Need I remind you that your family is on the town sign?”

He scoffs into his drink. “Yeah, no thanks. And not to drag this conversation any further, but what exactly is Roland doing with the bird?”

“He said he’s going to keep it in his garage because Jocelyn won’t allow him to bring any more strays into the actual house.” Stevie visibly shudders, her blunt nails clinking against the beer bottle. “Because that’s an issue apparently.”

“Good for Jocelyn I guess. But that fucking thing is going to die within the first twelve hours.”

“Yeah, probably.”

David signals to the bartender for another round, draining the rest of his cosmopolitan with vigor. A duplicate is set in front of him, not nearly pink enough, and the lime wedge on the lip of the glass falls off immediately. He grumbles a dejected, _“Okay,”_ and swivels back toward Stevie.

“So when does Patrick get back?” She kicks at the inside of his right ankle with the side of her shoe. “No offense, you’ve been a little clingy the last two days.”

“I’m going to choose to ignore that,” David replies, kicking Stevie’s foot away from his leg. “He gets back tomorrow morning.”

Stevie raises her eyebrows, staring absently off in the distance. “It’s so like your husband to just voluntarily go to a marketing conference in yet another bumblefuck town just to network.” She shakes her head slowly. “I can’t believe he didn’t make you go, too.”

“Mh, after the last one I think Patrick _preferred_ for me to stay home. Apparently vocalizing how bored I was every thirty minutes really soured the mood. Sure, I know how to work a room but not one surrounded by stiff button-downs and oxfords.”

“Your husband wears button downs and oxfords,” Stevie says bluntly, and David shakes his head.

“Yes, but he’s also very cute and wears jeans that don’t leave much to the imagination instead of ill-fitting khakis and suit pants.”

“Okay, I really don’t need to know about Patrick’s ass. I’ve walked in on you both enough the last few years.” She drains her beer, finally switching over to the new bottle that had been placed in front of her.

It’s true, though. Maybe they should be more careful, but honestly it’s Stevie’s fault for never knocking.

“Speaking of, I tried to convince him to mess around in a coat closet but he turned me down.” David laughs bitterly. “According to Patrick it was unprofessional. Although I will admit the sex that night when we got back to our room was great.”

“Never stopped you before,” Stevie quips, and David has to physically hold back a retort as she knocks her foot against his leg again. “Didn’t you get really drunk at the hotel bar, too?”

 _“That,”_ he begins pointedly, “was not my fault. The drinks were free.”

“You’re turning into your mother,” she snorts. “Didn’t she get sloppy drunk at that thing in Thornbridge a few years ago when-”

“Nope. No.” David waves his hands around, batting off the story before Stevie can really jump into it. “Those were very different situations. Also, if I ever turn into my mother you have to promise to shoot me.”

Stevie grins wolfishly (it’s a little unsettling, really), nodding in agreement. She raises her beer to cheers against his martini glass, wordlessly solidifying a pact that David isn’t entirely sure he’s comfortable with. She’ll be plotting his demise in no time flat if she has her way.

It isn’t much longer before David’s starting to feel the effects of his drink, a little spacey at most but his eyes are beginning to feel heavy, too. Just as he’s about to suggest closing out their tab, someone runs a finger down the length of his spine. It sends a shiver through him, making him sit upright at the touch.

“Hey,” comes a smooth voice in his ear, and David really should be able to tell by Stevie’s knowing look that it’s Patrick.

But regardless, he turns around, thrown a little off guard by the way his husband is looking at him with his big brown eyes and soft smile.

“You’re back!” David accepts a kiss and leans back happily against Patrick’s chest.

“Yeah, I figured I could skip the breakfast they’re holding tomorrow morning and head home early,” he explains with a hand coming up to rub at David’s shoulder. “Two days is enough.”

“Thank god, too,” Stevie says, “because he’s been really needy.”

“Okay-”

“Don’t worry, Stevie, I’ll be taking him off your hands now.”

“I’m sorry, was she babysitting me?”

“Babe, if someone isn’t keeping an eye on you, there’s a good chance you’ll combust.”

“So I’m a child then?”

“No, of course not,” Patrick replies, but his smile shows the slightest bit of teasing as a finger runs down David’s spine once again.

“Okay, I don’t know where _that_ came from,” he says, pointing vaguely toward his own back, “but I like it.”

“Oh, your mom taught me.”

If it was appropriate to yell right now, he would. But David schools his voice to only partially-pitched exasperation instead, letting out a strained, “I’m sorry?”

Patrick gives a little shrug, looking between him and Stevie. “Yeah. She said she’s ‘been around’ and has done it enough to know it works. I figured the holding your gaze part wasn’t necessary considering we’re already married and you back was turned, so. Personally, I’m grateful that she imparted this wisdom on me because I really don’t know if I would have been able to find someone to take home tonight without it.” 

“Ooh, okay we really need to stop talking about my mother tonight.” David stands, tucking a hand into Patrick’s back pocket and nodding toward Stevie. “You got the tab?”

“You’re not really giving me much of a choice,” she replies gruffly, but she pulls out her wallet anyway. “See you guys tomorrow?”

“Probably.”

“You two have fun tonight. I’m sure Patrick has more tips from your parents.”

David shoots Patrick a look when he huffs out a laugh, guiding him towards the exit. “That’s enough out of you. Bye.”

She yells, “Make sure you hide anything precarious before I come over tomorrow. I don’t want to sit on another bottle of lube!” at them across the room, and if David was a bit more sober he’d be much more embarrassed by the looks the other patrons are probably giving him and his husband.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! You can come find me [@maxbegone](maxbegone.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


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